On fear, vulnerability, and the feeling of not being good enough
This is about everything we try to avoid feeling—and what that does to us. We often explain our clients that the most effective treatment for burnout is not just mental and physical but also requires addressing repressed emotions. But what exactly do we mean by that?
Pain, sadness, anger, disappointment, happiness, joy—throughout life, we experience a wide range of emotions. These emotions help us survive; they drive us to take action and help us communicate with others. In fact, the word “emotion” comes from the Latin emovere, which means “to move”. An emotion naturally follows a movement: it arises, is felt and possibly expressed, and then subsides.
Yet, many people struggle with truly feeling their emotions. We often find emotions uncomfortable or even frightening, wanting them to pass as quickly as possible. Maybe, as children, we weren’t given space for (negative) emotions. Perhaps we were told to be strong and not make a fuss. Or at some point, we decided that certain emotions don’t align with the person we want to be—that they don’t help us achieve our goals.
Repressed emotions
But suppressing or denying emotions like anger or fear doesn’t make them disappear. Instead of moving through us, they become stuck in the body. That heavy feeling in your stomach grows, or your anxiety intensifies—without you understanding why. This is what we mean by “trapped emotions.”
Like trying to push a beach ball underwater, these emotions will eventually resurface in another way, at another time. Often, trapped or repressed emotions manifest physically, leading to issues such as insomnia, stomach pain, or headaches. Many of our clients recognize fear, whether openly or beneath the surface—the fear of not being good enough, or the fear of vulnerability.
We are not born with these fears; they develop through experiences of (potential) pain. For example, the fear of reliving a painful situation. A belief is formed (“I must never be vulnerable again”), reinforced by an unconscious conviction (“I can’t handle this, it’s too scary”). This conviction takes root in moments of fear, attaching itself to the emotion.
Releasing emotions
The best way to release the weight of an emotion like fear is not to run away from it, but rather to move towards it. This may sound intense and counterintuitive, but it is actually a natural process—and much easier than it seems.
Allowing yourself to fully feel the emotion beneath the fear—exactly as it is, without the limiting beliefs attached to it—is the most effective way to let it go.
Guidance in letting go of emotions
It is also possible to release old, trapped emotions. A coach, specialized in emotions can guide you through this process, helping you reconnect with the feeling of vulnerability. Beyond the belief that you should never feel this way, you will experience what vulnerability truly feels like. Not only will you realize that you can handle it, but you may even find that vulnerability can feel expansive and gentle—not wrong or bad.
Deep relaxation
It’s a powerful experience to feel, throughout your entire body, how vulnerability creates space—how real it feels to fully embrace your emotions rather than suppress them. “This is me, and this feels right.”
This process accomplishes two things at once: you dismantle the fear and release it, while also experiencing the incredible freedom of being your authentic self. And with that comes deep relaxation.
Would you like to learn more about how emotion therapy can support you? Feel free to reach out to us directly for more information.
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